sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
