As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
