Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
