I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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