sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
