i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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