I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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