My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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