i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
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i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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