I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
