There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
