I'm so fucking centered right now
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize