I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
