I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
