I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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