we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
