I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize