don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
