It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
