So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Randomize
