Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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