hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
