Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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