And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
