love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
