Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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