I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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