WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
