she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
