If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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