But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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