physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
