thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
