Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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