dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
