Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
