Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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