i permit you to call me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize