his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
