You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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