I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I will be naked everywhere
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
