Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
