Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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