Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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