What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
