My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't make out with my wife yet
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it's great music for shaving your balls
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
