I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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