He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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