Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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