Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
