If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
try to milk me bitch
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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