Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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