I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
