i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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