Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize