1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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