dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
