she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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