so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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