Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
