ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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