I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he puts the penis in happiness.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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