The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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