summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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